You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
