I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
