i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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