we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
