Buhtt sex?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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