he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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