Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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