Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
