Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Please don't give away my fajitas
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