your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
