cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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