why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
