Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize