My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
