Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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