Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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