saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
