pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
