I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
