Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize