I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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