I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Randomize
