i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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