Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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