he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
