Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
