had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
