Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
