She's JV to your varsity
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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