ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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