nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
