I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it glows. i had to have it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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