you guys were way drunker than both of me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
