tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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