I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize