we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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