belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
