trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
