I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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