her vagine was all disorganized.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Rumble strips road head = magical
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
