he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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