I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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