Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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