You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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