i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
