Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize