Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
