its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize