I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
