Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
