where am i from again
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
