I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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