Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
