No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
