Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
