My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
