Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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