you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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