3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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